Work Looms
August 22nd, 2008I start work on Monday. I am dreading it. Being on maternity leave has been wonderful, and I am so going to miss Nina. Everyone says going back to work is really tough but that it gets easier. So I just have to hang in there, I guess. The nanny worked for us all week - a trial run - and it went great. After a bit of struggling at first, Nina is now a pro with the bottle. Our nanny is wonderful with Nina, and just a generally warm, caring person. She is an angel. We are so fortunate to have found her and to be able to afford 1×1 childcare for Nina.
My big challenge now is pumping milk, and trying to keep up with Nina’s demand. She drinks 5.5 ounces per feeding during the day — quite a healthy appetite. I’m also going on a business trip in early September (to Japan, believe it or not, for a week) and during that time I’ll have to pump like crazy to keep up the milk supply. As much as I love being in Japan and doing work there, it could also be miserable — missing Nina terribly, worrying about her and then having to constantly wrangle with the pump. But I’m determined to keep up the breast feeding for as long as possible. My goal is to get to 4 months, and then I’ll set a new goal. The way breastfeeding is characterized these days, you feel like every extra day of breast milk is directly correlated to your child’s future ability to thrive. So I have this machine, freezer bags, tubes, bottles, etc etc. that are a big part of my life right now. Sometimes I feel it takes away from actual baby time. Pumping isn’t painful but it’s such a production. It may very well all be bunk. How much more does Nina actually benefit at this point by getting breastmilk instead of formula? But when it’s your child, you don’t want to take any chances. And somehow pumping and the royal pain that it is helps alleviate the inevitable guilt I feel in going back to work. And during work it will be a very physical reminder of my other role as a mother.
Nina’s doing great. She absolutely loves people. She stares with intense interest at anyone she meets, and usually gives them a big smile. She likes being outside and watching the trees, dogs walking by, bicyclers, etc. And she’s learning to take a nap in her crib. We’ve spend so much time this summer with her in the stroller, walking all over Brooklyn Heights, that she seems to find that the more comfortable place to nap. Or if not the stroller, the swing. But, with the help of a pacifier, she’s learning to nap in the crib. Our nanny got her to take two short crib naps today and I’ll give it a try myself tomorrow. John is out of town so it is just us girls!







